3 Years 6 Months

1)  At the playground on the day of Halloween, Fuzzy was super excited about eating candy later that night.  The community center nearby then had some sort of daytime event, the result of which was a bunch of teenagers wandering around littering candy wrappers.  I found Fuzzy with a wrapper in his mouth, which he had clearly picked up off the ground.  "Fuzzy, don't eat that, that's gross!"

The child looked wounded.  "It's not poop!"

2)  After going trick or treating, I let Fuzz have several pieces of candy.  After I forbade any more, he snuck one in, and I took it away from him.  The Pit was away on a business trip, and Fuzzy requested that I call him, because Fuzzy wanted to tell him something.

"What do you want to tell Daddy?" I asked.

"That I didn't get any lollipops, and that I was eating that candy, and you took it away and then I cried.  But it's okay, when Daddy comes back, he will put on his magic pants, and he will give me a lollipop from his pocket."

This exchange might be clearer if you knew that a couple of days before he left, The Pit convinced Fuzz that one of his pockets gives out lollipops to good boys.

3)  Fuzzy is still unclear on the concept of jokes.  A recent example went like so:
Fuzzy: "How does the bucket get filled up with water?"
Me:  "How?"
Fuzzy: "By getting water!"

Also:
Me: "Knock knock."
Fuzzy:  Silence.
Me: "You have to say 'who's there?'"
Fuzzy:  "MAMA!"  Laughs hysterically.

4)  Alas, my child has begun to demonstrate anti-girl sentiments.  He was jumping on an extra mattress we put on his floor.  "Mama, this exercise is for booys, not gurls!"  When I pointed out that girls are equally capable: "But MAMA, this would take a lot of practice and skills for gurls!"

5)  A few days ago, when I accompanied Fuzzy to the bathroom, he announced that he wanted "not company" on the potty.  "Oh, you want privacy?" I asked.  Fuzzy confirmed, so I went downstairs and told him to call me when he was done.

I heard him yelling several minutes later and went upstairs, only to be informed that, "I still want not company, Mama!"

"You called me up here to tell me that you don't want me here?"

"Yes, close the door."

6)  In a note home from Fuzzy's preschool, I read that that they were doing thankful journals for Thanksgiving.  I asked Fuzzy what he was thankful for.  "Nothing!"

This is his standard answer when I ask about anything school-related, so I was not too wounded.  But I proceeded to tell him I was thankful for him and Sprout and Daddy, and then left the topic alone.  Out of nowhere several hours later, while Fuzzy was helping me sort laundry, the kid came to a decision.  "Mama, I know what I'm thankful for."

"Oh, what?"

"You and Daddy and Sprout."  Awwww, just a long thinker, and not a sociopath after all!

5)  Sometimes the kids play well together, and sometimes we get scenes like this:
Fuzzy: "Sprout, hurry, we have to spring into action!  There's monsters!"
Sprout: Unimpressed, continues to play with his toy.
Fuzzy: "No, Sprout! Spring into action!"  Starts pulling on the baby's arm.
Sprout: Wails and then hits Fuzzy.

6)  I usually give the kids some kind of berries or fruit while they are in the tub.  One day, Fuzzy invented a new game, wherein he decided to stuff all his blueberries in the bathtub spout.

"Fuzzy, stop that!"

"But Mama, it's available for blueberries!"

Hard to argue with logic like that, especially when he uses his big vocabulary words.  We were all very excited when the blueberries came back out after I turned on the water.  Sprout continued to try to stuff various other things in the spout for weeks and weeks after.