Presents from OL

In thanks for all my excellent companion-ing of late, or possibly as a response to my engagement, OL gave me a present yesterday...or to be more accurate, several presents. She scrabbled around the bottom of her closet for a bit, and then handed me a mysterious grocery-bag wrapped bundle.*

Inside, I found this very sad looking box:

Already feeling bit queasy about my fabulous gift, I opened the box, and found the following items:

• 1 toenail clipper,
• 2 pairs of tweezers,
• several intertwined ribbons, which when pulled apart revealed themselves to be cut-off bra straps, and
• an assortment of buttons

Of course, I thanked her profusely for her generosity, but suggested that perhaps she should keep the clippers and tweezers for her own use. This did not strike her as a good idea, and she became a bit agitated, insisting that the items in question were both clean and redundant, and that she wanted me to have them. At that point, there was really nothing for it but to gingerly accept the box.

However, after a few minutes of reflection, I think OL might have come to the conclusion that as far as gifts go, this one was a little paltry. To my horror, she jumped up from the couch and went rummaging through the grocery-bagged pile of goodies in her closet again. When she returned, she presented me with this additional gift:

Yes, that would be three pairs of her old, worn, polyester gloves. I took the whole kit and kaboodle home with me, and am now sitting here wondering how best to dispose of it all. Oh, the manyfold joys of working with the elderly and slightly senile!

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* For some reason, OL individually wraps all of her possessions in grocery bags, thus making identification of any particular item exceedingly difficult. This is especially annoying when I'm trying to get her out of the house, and she wants to find a particular pair of shoes she wrapped in 1998.