Oy

We went out to dinner last night to a tapas restaurant with a friend of The Pit’s from grad school. We'll call The Pit's friend mysterious and bolded A for now, because I am seriously lacking in creativity. A was evaluating the location as a possible place to take dates, and based on my experience, I would recommend he bring dates there for the rest of his life. Four words people: half price sangria pitchers.

Apparently my aversion to liquids does not extend to delicious delicious sangria, because I just kept drinking and drinking and drinking. With predictable results, of course. There was a slight amount of stumbling out of the restaurant, some inappropriate conversation on the street, and then I made the boys stop by The Container Store after dinner. What? It was right there, and we needed to sober up a little. Nothing sobers up a man faster than The Container Store.

Then The Pit drove me home and I passed out on the bed while he was brushing his teeth. So okay, maybe A should limit his lady friends to just one pitcher, as watching his date snore might not be the exact evening-ending activity he’s hoping for.

Speaking of A and lady friends, I do believe he might be my next meddling project. Previous recipients of my attentions in this area have disappointingly lacked in the enthusiasm department, and I have had to repeatedly badger them into checking the lovingly crafted Match.com profiles I* created. I don’t know why, but I think A will be more likely to humor me in this regard. I suspect this is due to his military experience, as for some reason I associate the armed forces with enthusiasm. I think it’s all the yelling of “Sir!” left and right.

But this profile should really write itself. I mean, what self-respecting DC area lady wouldn’t like a fresh-faced lad with both a graduate degree and the ability to field strip a firearm in under a minute? I’ve even thought of a tag-line already: Winning hearts and minds since 1981.

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* Okay, so they were mostly written by Dina. You know, the funnier sister. But I set the whole thing in motion.